{"id":760,"date":"2024-07-13T14:07:13","date_gmt":"2024-07-13T14:07:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bellmarketingsolutions.com\/index.php\/2024\/07\/13\/this-writing-technique-turns-your-copy-into-a-mind-movie\/"},"modified":"2024-07-16T08:03:57","modified_gmt":"2024-07-16T08:03:57","slug":"this-writing-technique-turns-your-copy-into-a-mind-movie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bellmarketingsolutions.com\/index.php\/2024\/07\/13\/this-writing-technique-turns-your-copy-into-a-mind-movie\/","title":{"rendered":"This Writing Technique Turns Your Copy Into a \u201cMind Movie\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"hs-featured-image-wrapper\"><a class=\"hs-featured-image-link\" title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/blog.hubspot.com\/marketing\/writing-technique-mind-movie\"> <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"hs-featured-image\" style=\"width: auto !important; max-width: 50%; float: left; margin: 0 15px 15px 0;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hubfs\/mind-movie.webp\" alt=\"Mind movie graphic with copywriter Eddie Shleyner, and symbols for copywriting\" \/> <\/a><\/div>\n<p>Welcome to <strong>Creator Columns<\/strong>, where we bring expert <a href=\"https:\/\/creators.hubspot.com\/\">HubSpot Creator<\/a> voices to the Blogs that inspire and help you grow better.<\/p>\n<p>Welcome to <strong>Creator Columns<\/strong>, where we bring expert <a href=\"https:\/\/creators.hubspot.com\/\">HubSpot Creator<\/a> voices to the Blogs that inspire and help you grow better.<\/p>\n<p>Months before Beau was born, my sister \u2014 herself a mother of three \u2014 recommended we put a \u201cNoseFrida\u201d on our registry.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s this rubber tube,\u201d she said. \u201cOne end goes in the baby\u2019s nose, the other goes in your mouth. Then you suck.\u201d I laughed. Being childless at the time, this was a shocking concept. \u201cIt\u2019s clean,\u201d she said, \u201cthere\u2019s a booger-catcher thing in the middle.\u201d I laughed again. \u201cNothing goes in your mouth.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I looked at my wife. \u201c<em>I\u2019m not doing that<\/em>.\u201d She rolled her eyes and palmed her belly.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Months after Beau is born:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>He\u2019s still very small. I\u2019m on the couch, horizontal, lying on my back, holding him above my head. My elbows are bending. I\u2019m moving him up and down. We\u2019re playing, laughing. My mouth is open.<\/p>\n<p>Beau spits up.<\/p>\n<p>My mouth is suddenly full. It\u2019s breast milk \u2014 recently consumed and now regurgitated \u2014 but I\u2019m not phased, believe it or not. My son is three months old, after all. Strange things happen. I look at my wife. She\u2019s cackling at my misfortune. I get up and pass her the boy and go to the sink and spit.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Kels<\/em>\u2014\u201d I call out.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHave you seen the nose thing?\u201d I said. \u201cHe\u2019s stuffy.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2><strong>The day Beau was born: <\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Kelsey woke me up early. It was still dark outside. Light from the bathroom poured into the bedroom. \u201cMy water broke,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>We drove to the hospital. We went through triage. We met the nurse and the doctor and settled into the delivery room. \u201cThis is a process,\u201d said the nurse. \u201cTry to get comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We tried. I closed the blinds and dimmed the lights and adjusted my wife\u2019s hospital bed until she said, \u201cThat feels good.\u201d The room was dark and quiet, calm. Kels fell asleep. Her back was to me. I was sitting in a recliner, reading something, listening to my son\u2019s heartbeat come through the fetal monitor.<\/p>\n<p>I closed my eyes. The door opened. My eyes opened. \u201cOkay\u2014\u201d said the nurse, \u201cwe have a grumpy baby in there\u2014\u201d Kels sat up. I stood up. \u201cI\u2019m gonna have you roll over\u2014\u201d the nurse told my wife.<\/p>\n<p>Then, suddenly, another nurse walked in. And another. And another. Then the obstetrician walked in. Then the anesthesiologist. Suddenly, a dozen people surrounded my wife, shifting her this way and that way, propping her up. \u201cIt\u2019s gonna be fine, dear\u2014\u201d said the nurse, \u201cjust breathe, dear, breathe\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I backed up until my heel hit the wall. I was in the corner now. My wife was on her knees and elbows now. I couldn\u2019t see her face anymore. A doctor approached me. \u201cDad?\u201d I looked at her. \u201cThe boy\u2019s heart rate just dropped.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDropped?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes,\u201d she said. \u201cOne-ten to one-sixty is normal in utero\u2014\u201d I looked at the monitor. It was beeping and bouncing: fifty-four, fifty-seven, fifty-two. \u201cIt&#8217;s in the fifties now,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy?\u201d I said. My palms were wet.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cProbably the umbilical cord\u2014\u201d the doctor kept talking, elaborating, but I could only see my wife and hear the monitor and feel my throat tightening.<\/p>\n<p>Then, suddenly, the beeping stopped. \u201cHeart rate stabilized,\u201d someone said, and the room cleared out as quickly as it had filled up.<\/p>\n<p>Then, suddenly, it was just me and my wife and the doctor, who said, \u201cThis can\u2019t keep happening.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut what actually happened?\u201d my wife asked.<\/p>\n<p>The doctor repeated herself. \u201cThe umbilical cord,\u201d she said, \u201cit\u2019s compromised.\u201d Then she told us if the heart rate deceleration kept happening, an emergency cesarean would be necessary. Kelsey squeezed my hand. I squeezed back. An hour later, it happened again. And again after that.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay,\u201d said my wife, and signed the liability form.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay,\u201d said the doctor, and the nurses began rolling Kelsey\u2019s bed toward the operating room. Before she turned the corner, we signed <em>I Love You<\/em> to each other.<\/p>\n<p>Three fingers. Then, suddenly, it was just me. I was alone, sitting there, picking the skin off my thumb and tapping my foot. I looked down. My thumb was bleeding. I stopped picking and put it in my mouth.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m a secular person, but in that moment, I began to pray. \u201cGod\u2014\u201d I looked down. The blood was pooling in my cuticle. I let it go. \u201cPlease\u2014\u201d I didn\u2019t know what I was doing. \u201cPlease\u2014\u201d I didn\u2019t know how to talk to God. \u201cPlease, Lord\u2014\u201d I began bartering with Him. \u201cI swear to you,\u201d I said, \u201cI\u2019ll be the best dad.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2><strong>The moment Beau is born:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>In the operating room, when the surgeon lifts him up over the blue curtain and I see him for the first time, I recognize him. So much so, in fact, it takes my breath away. I gasp. I know this person. I know his face.<\/p>\n<p>It feels like when you run into an old friend, someone you left behind, and they\u2019ve changed, of course \u2014 time has changed them \u2014 but you still see them as you once knew them. This is what it feels like the moment Beau is born. It feels like I already know him.<\/p>\n<p>The surgeon passes the boy to a nurse. \u201cApgar at one and five\u2014\u201d he says.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, Doctor,\u201d says the nurse.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd I need suction on the left\u2014\u201d he says in the same breath.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, Doctor,\u201d says another nurse.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMore\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, Doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Beau is in a small room now, adjacent to the OR. He needs to be cleaned and measured and weighed. I look at Kelsey. \u201cGo meet him,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>A year after Beau was born, I did a writing experiment.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>I asked one of the big AI engines a question:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCan you describe meeting your firstborn child?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The computer thought for a moment, then produced 88 words:<\/p>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hs-fs\/hubfs\/88-words-chatgpt.webp?width=650&amp;height=366&amp;name=88-words-chatgpt.webp\" alt=\"88 words by ChatGPT\" width=\"650\" height=\"366\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I read it, then wrote my own version, except I limited myself to <em>exactly<\/em> as many words as the AI\u2019s passage. I often <a href=\"https:\/\/www.verygoodcopy.com\/verygoodcopy-blogs-10\/good-copywriting-practice\">practice writing this way<\/a>. Efficiency, after all, is my bread and butter as a copywriter. Word economy is baked into the discipline. Saying more in fewer words is never a bad thing:<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hs-fs\/hubfs\/88-words-eddie-shleyner.webp?width=650&amp;height=366&amp;name=88-words-eddie-shleyner.webp\" alt=\"88 words by Eddie Shleyner\" width=\"650\" height=\"366\" \/><\/p>\n<p>When I shared it in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.verygoodcopy.com\/\">my newsletter<\/a> and on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/eshleyner\/\">LinkedIn<\/a>, the response was remarkable. The concept, clearly, struck a nerve. Hundreds of thousands of people saw the experiment, prompting over a thousand comments, DMs, and emails. All that feedback culminated in a consensus: <em>my version is better.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Readers said that despite using only as many words as the AI, my passage created much richer, more vivid imagery: \u201cI could actually <em>see<\/em> your version,\u201d someone commented. \u201cIt felt like a movie was playing in my head.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2><strong>\u201cMind Movies\u201d are a real phenomenon. <\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Harvard psychologist Stephen Kosslyn calls it \u201cMental Imagery,\u201d or the \u201creproduction of visual images in the absence of the stimuli themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Mind Movies can be <em>self-inflicted<\/em> \u2014 an athlete, for example, might imagine herself making the game-winning shot \u2014 or, they can be done to us, <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.hubspot.com\/marketing\/storytelling\">prompted by writing<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>But how? I\u2019ll tell you exactly:<\/p>\n<h2><strong>You can put \u201c<\/strong><strong><em>holes<\/em><\/strong><strong>\u201d in your writing.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>In other words, leave things out \u2014 details, context \u2014 and this will give The Reader a chance to \u201cfill in\u201d that space, to use her imagination, to access her own experiences, or memories, good or bad, painful or pleasant.<\/p>\n<p>Holes invite The Reader to <em>participate<\/em> in the narrative.<\/p>\n<p>But how do you create holes? I\u2019ll tell you exactly:<\/p>\n<h3><strong>1. Anti-description<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>For example, I don\u2019t need to <em>tell<\/em> you I\u2019m in a hospital:<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hs-fs\/hubfs\/anti-description.webp?width=650&amp;height=366&amp;name=anti-description.webp\" alt=\"Anti-description example\" width=\"650\" height=\"366\" \/><\/p>\n<p>You fill in this hole for yourself because I mention \u201cthe nurse,\u201d and \u201cmasks\u201d and \u201cgowns\u201d and \u201cgloves\u201d and \u201chairnets.\u201d These context clues are enough to conjure the colors, smells, and sterility of a hospital.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not giving you a description as much as an <em>anti-description <\/em>\u2014 small details that force you to color in the story based on your <em>own<\/em> experiences in a hospital, creating an image that is invariably more real and believable.<\/p>\n<p>This process of filling in the details for yourself \u2014 even if they\u2019re not perfectly accurate \u2014 is not only engaging, but can also conjure profoundly vivid imagery, the fodder of a \u201cMind Movie.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Another way this phenomenon expresses itself is via The Kuleshov Effect, discovered by film researcher Lev Kuleshov, who did an experiment. He put an actor in front of a camera and asked him to deliver an <em>expressionless<\/em> look. The actor, someone named Ivan Mosjoukine, did this:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hs-fs\/hubfs\/mosjoukine.webp?width=450&amp;height=338&amp;name=mosjoukine.webp\" alt=\"Ivan Mosjoukine image\" width=\"450\" height=\"338\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Then, Kuleshov showed audiences a series of shots, followed by Mosjoukine\u2019s expressionless face.<\/p>\n<p>He showed them a bowl of soup:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hs-fs\/hubfs\/mosjoukine-soup.webp?width=650&amp;height=246&amp;name=mosjoukine-soup.webp\" alt=\"Mosjoukine soup example\" width=\"650\" height=\"246\" \/><\/p>\n<p>He showed them a small girl in a coffin:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hs-fs\/hubfs\/mosjoukine-girl.webp?width=650&amp;height=247&amp;name=mosjoukine-girl.webp\" alt=\"Mosjoukine girl example\" width=\"650\" height=\"247\" \/><\/p>\n<p>He showed them a woman on a fainting couch:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hs-fs\/hubfs\/mosjoukine-woman.webp?width=650&amp;height=245&amp;name=mosjoukine-woman.webp\" alt=\"Mosjoukine woman example\" width=\"650\" height=\"245\" \/><\/p>\n<p>In his book, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Power-Film-Howard-Suber\/dp\/1932907173\"><em>The Power of Film<\/em><\/a>, film professor Howard Suber explains the significance of this experiment.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAudiences raved at the range of this great actor,\u201d says Suber, \u201cHow he expressed how famished he was in front of that bowl of soup. And how heartbroken he was at <em>his child<\/em> \u2014 nothing had identified any relationship between the child and the actor; the audience read that story into it,\u201d says Suber. \u201cAnd the woman on the couch \u2026 desire.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hs-fs\/hubfs\/kuleshov-effect.webp?width=650&amp;height=414&amp;name=kuleshov-effect.webp\" alt=\"Kuleshov effect graphic\" width=\"650\" height=\"414\" \/><\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat Kuleshov proved is you don\u2019t want theatrical acting in which the actor projects to the back of the house,\u201d explains Suber. \u201cThe actor does not need to project. The audience is projecting onto the actor the emotions <em>they think<\/em> the actor is feeling, even though the actor isn\u2019t expressing any emotion.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Mosjoukine\u2019s \u201cexpressionless look\u201d in film is like \u201canti-description\u201d in writing: by giving The Reader less, you\u2019re actually giving them more to imagine, visualize, and experience.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>2. Dialogue<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>For example, I don\u2019t need to tell you I\u2019m anxious in this scene:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hs-fs\/hubfs\/dialogue.webp?width=650&amp;height=366&amp;name=dialogue.webp\" alt=\"dialogue example\" width=\"650\" height=\"366\" \/><\/p>\n<p>You fill in this hole for yourself, based on what I\u2019m saying, the observations I\u2019m stating, and the questions I\u2019m asking. This is also known as <strong><em>subtext<\/em><\/strong>. It\u2019s the true meaning behind what characters say \u2014 and it\u2019s one of our salient advantages as human writers.<\/p>\n<p>For example, I\u2019m not simply saying \u201cHello\u201d to my son:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hs-fs\/hubfs\/subtext.webp?width=650&amp;height=366&amp;name=subtext.webp\" alt=\"subtext example\" width=\"650\" height=\"366\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Ostensibly it\u2019s a greeting, but it\u2019s actually me becoming a new person. In this moment, the old person, the childless person \u2014 the one that wouldn\u2019t even consider using a NoseFrida \u2014 is <em>gone<\/em>. In this moment, my priorities and worldview have changed, irreversibly so. I\u2019ve transformed.<\/p>\n<p>You fill in this hole for yourself by letting the context \u2014 the circumstance, the setting \u2014 dictate the meaning.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>This is in stark contrast to the AI\u2019s approach. <\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The computer lacks consciousness. It\u2019s not aware of itself, much less the human condition. It can\u2019t comprehend the essence of a person, or the significance of a moment, much less <em>this<\/em> moment, the gravity and complexity of meeting your firstborn child.<\/p>\n<p>So, instead, the AI spoon-feeds us a series of platitudes and cliches, an amalgamation of some ideal scenario, some version of perfection:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/hs-fs\/hubfs\/spoon-feeding.webp?width=650&amp;height=366&amp;name=spoon-feeding.webp\" alt=\"Spoon feeding example\" width=\"650\" height=\"366\" \/><\/p>\n<p>It falls flat, of course, because it\u2019s just not that simple.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe AI\u2019s version may well be accurate (for some at least), but it lacks the warmth and <em>reality<\/em> of holding your child for the first time,\u201d explains fellow writer and parent, Katie Murray, in a comment on my post.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAs a first-time parent, I was ecstatic and anxious in equal measure as I held my beautiful baby for the first time. You recognize the thrill and the responsibility of being a parent simultaneously, and nothing quite prepares you for either.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The AI can\u2019t understand this duality because it\u2019s not alive. It didn\u2019t <em>live<\/em> this moment, so it can\u2019t relate.<\/p>\n<p>It didn\u2019t just watch the most important person in its life go through 36 hours of hard, complicated labor. It didn\u2019t witness its unborn child struggling to breathe inside the womb of this person.<\/p>\n<p>It wasn\u2019t there during emergency surgery at 4 o\u2019clock in the morning, sitting by its wife, holding her head, telling her everything is going to be okay when there was a very real possibility that it <em>wouldn\u2019t<\/em> be \u2026 that something horrible and unthinkable might happen to its family, to their future together, to their love.<\/p>\n<p>People are the most incredible animals because, every day, we go through life with the knowledge that everything we care about, everything we love, could be taken from us. And yet, we go on anyway. Every day, we persist.<\/p>\n<p>And sometimes, we\u2019re reminded of this reality, and it does something to us, and that\u2019s why I wrote what I wrote. I wrote my truth. And because we all share the human experience, so many people understood that truth.<\/p>\n<p>They related to my version, my experience \u2014 and they were equally underwhelmed by the version put forth by the AI.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>This is why copywriting will <\/strong><strong><em>always<\/em><\/strong><strong> be a human profession. <\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Because <em>writing<\/em> is actually not our work.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c[Writing] a great ad,\u201d said creative director Jeff Goodby,\u201d is [putting] a <em>mirror<\/em> in front of your audience.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Writing is important, of course, and hopefully, the dialogue, anti-description, and subtext I created illustrates the enormous chasm between a human\u2019s turn of phrase and that of a machine. But even so, if that chasm were to close \u2014 years or decades into the future, if ever \u2014 I hope every copywriter reading this finds solace in the fact that writing is just our medium, the vessel through which we put a mirror in front of our audience, and reflect something patently human and imperfect and true.<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"cta_button\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hubspot.com\/cs\/ci\/?pg=69995f8d-caaf-4080-a787-5b4628f190f4&amp;pid=53&amp;ecid=&amp;hseid=&amp;hsic=\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"hs-cta-img \" style=\"height: auto !important; width: auto !important; max-width: 100% !important; border-width: 0px;\" src=\"https:\/\/no-cache.hubspot.com\/cta\/default\/53\/69995f8d-caaf-4080-a787-5b4628f190f4.png\" alt=\"content templates\" width=\"646\" height=\"226\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"min-height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border-width: 0!important; padding: 0!important; margin: 0!important;\" src=\"https:\/\/track.hubspot.com\/__ptq.gif?a=53&amp;k=14&amp;r=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.hubspot.com%2Fmarketing%2Fwriting-technique-mind-movie&amp;bu=https%253A%252F%252Fblog.hubspot.com%252Fmarketing&amp;bvt=rss\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Welcome to Creator Columns, where we bring expert HubSpot Creator voices to the Blogs that inspire and help you grow better. Welcome to Creator Columns, where we bring expert HubSpot Creator voices to the Blogs that inspire and help you grow better. Months before Beau was born, my sister \u2014 herself a mother of three [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":759,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-760","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>This Writing Technique Turns Your Copy Into a \u201cMind Movie\u201d - Bell Marketing Solutions<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bellmarketingsolutions.com\/index.php\/2024\/07\/13\/this-writing-technique-turns-your-copy-into-a-mind-movie\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"This Writing Technique Turns Your Copy Into a \u201cMind Movie\u201d - Bell Marketing Solutions\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Welcome to Creator Columns, where we bring expert HubSpot Creator voices to the Blogs that inspire and help you grow better. 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